Last year was eye-opening. I had this grand plan to blog every day of the school year, but that became derailed quickly around Christmas time. It was at that time that I found out a whole slew of things that shook my confidence and made me feel about two inches tall.
In a nutshell, through my blogging, I had offended numerous people, angered my school board, made colleagues uncomfortable, and created a perception of me among administrators that I was arrogant, believing I could do whatever I wanted. I found out that there were those in power who believed that there wasn’t much hope for me to turn anything around.
It’s still hard to write about this or talk about it. I get shaky. My voice cracks. My eyes tear up. I feel panic in my chest. All I wanted to do was share my thoughts with the world, and it blew up in my face. This HURT so, so much.
All I can do, though, is take full responsibility. I adore teaching. I am motivated every day to deeply connect with and help my students to become better learners. I do not take issue with anything I am legally required to do as part of my job, but unfortunately many of my posts could have been viewed with that slant, especially by those who don’t know me (i.e. the majority of those who read my blog via Twitter).
I don’t really know how to change this perception of me, other than to show the world who I truly am. I got caught up in making grandiose statements every day in this space, and it resulted in me creating a sort of persona, one that didn’t reflect the real me. That was a heart-wrenching mistake, believe me. I suffered as a result of it.
I don’t know what this blog will become this year, either. I just hope that it will allow everyone to get to know me, Tom Fuke. I love what I do. I love getting better at what I do. And I love sharing my learning journey.
I’m human, so I’m going to mess up, and I hope you can forgive me when I do. But I hope I never come across as arrogant again. I think I hide behind that persona when I’m scared, and last year, I was VERY scared. The trick is going to be to notice when I’m doing that, and I hope that I can.
Anyway, I’m back, and I’m looking forward to everything coming my way. Yes it’s scary. I’m ridiculously vulnerable right now. That place of vulnerability, though, is a place I want to be in more often.